What Would A Coffin Smell Like

          

          Darkness was all I could see. “I must have gone blind” I thought. But, that was not it. My every attempt to speak was in vain. My mouth seemed to be glued. I tried my best to get up, turning from side to side wrestling with my own self. That too was in vain. Someone must have played a prank on me. I was swimming in my thoughts, when I noticed it. It was utter bit silent. Was I dead? Slowly I got to the fact that I was super dead. 

          Hours passed. I was still not out of the fact that, I was dead. I was perfectly fine. You fall asleep, and the next hour you are dead! Is this some kind of joke. “I am not dead, I cannot be”, and then I started weeping. Emotions raced all the way to my heart and flowed through my eyes. A lot more hours passed when I was, over all the ‘I am dead ’ emotions. I had to wait, wait till someone get in my room, and find me lying dead. I knew that was gonna be messy.

           Slowly the deafness and blindness went away. My lightly lit room began being visible. As the room became more clear, I heard a loud thud on the door, “Open up Mia, your phone has been ringing for a hundredth time now. Would you please switch that shit off”. 

          What can I do? All I am able to do was to lay right there, hearing all the stuff she shouts at me, until she realize something's wrong and, run to Mom and Dad. However, My dear sister didn't seemed to notice something was wrong for quite some time. She carried on with cursing, thumping and even kicking the door. “Oh for goodness sake stop this nonsense and, go call Mom and Dad, Leah. I am dead ” I screamed which was absolutely stupid.

          It went on for few more minutes, with Leah taking little breaks and, then coming back to curse. And then she sensed it. She screamed, “Mom, Dad!”. She could have woken the whole street. She was actually trying to break in. “Stop it Leah! You are gonna hurt yourself.", I kept talking to her.

          To my surprise she actually broke the door, within seconds I got that it was Dad who was trying to break in. They came running to me. All of them was white more than they used to be. For a split of seconds everything was slow. Fear shone in their eyes.

          Mom kept shouting at me, “Mia Bechtel! You stop this nonsense right now or else, you will be grounded for a month". I have never felt the love of family until my death. With death I felt something I was not able to feel when I was alive. The blindness was better. At least I won't be able to see all these sentiments.

“She is gone” Dad whispered to mom.

 

                               * ———* 

          Why do people wear black? It's so depressing for the dead one. I have always wondered, how the coffin would smell like. Mine smells of Calvin klein. Mom knows I would love this smell. 

          The brilliant part is ‘Flowers’. Flowers of every colours, mostly white is arranged next to me. Outdoor funerals are best. The coffin is so small so it gives us loads of fresh air. Right now I have to enjoy as much fresh air as possible, soon I would be buried and would never be able to see daylight again. That thought makes me sick.

          There are far more people than, I thought there would be. They all are grieving in lose of their dear Mia. At least, they look so. If I am not wrong some of them are weeping silently, some even have swollen eyes. Its hard to spot each and everyone, standing a feet away from me. Especially, when I am unable to turn around.

           Beginning from the first row, my Aunt Lizzy is at the tip of death. Her baby is creating a mess. Oh god! He is literally screaming so loud. Will you stop it baby, it's so hard to focus on being dead, when you scream like that. Shit! He calmed down. Can babies hear the dead? How am I supposed to know that. Gladly, it was a short break for him. He is now screaming mightier than before. "Somebody please come here and put something in my ears". What is the use? No one, literally no one is caring. I have not felt this much ignored in my life. Its depressing.

           "What the-", excuse me am I allowed to curse in a coffin. I have to kill that bitch right now. The one sitting a few chairs away from dad. 'Julia Harper' she is such abominable shit goblin. Is she sad? Why is she pretending to be devasted by my death. If I am alive right now, I would stab her a hundred times. She is a lame thief. She stole my boyfriend, my best friend. And all she says is "Mia you can talk to me about anything". Last day we had a fight and what she said was "Do all that you can, you have lost everything and very soon you will lose the rest. I am trying to be good to you. You know we can be good friends". I should have punched her right then.

            I am sick of this dead drama. How much longer god!

          Moving on I can see many more unfamiliar faces. Leah's boyfriend Jacob is talking with her. She seems to be petrified, her face is swollen. To be honest I hate Jacob. He is an asshole. But my dear sister is blind. The world is so bright and ravishing. You will be Juliet and he will be Romeo. Thus, life makes you blind. Blind with love. Leah is blinded with his sugar coated love.

           As more and more people arrived, More and more hours passed, and I am getting bored. How funny and merry was the time I used to spent with my sister!

           I can recall an incident, when I was chasing her all the way from church and she fell. It was when I spotted drops of blood on the pavement that I thought "Is she going to die?" She was gasping and pale. Later that evening I was able to see mom on one of her horrible state. She said all that she could to a six year old. Every time Dad tried to talk for me he was fired with shouts. I have never seen her in such a state until today.

           Indeed, death do make people go wild. Talking about mom, where is she? Not with Dad or Leah nor me. Oh! There she is. She is sad. There is no word to substitute this kind of sadness. Who is she talking to? "Mr can you please turn around, you seem familiar" speaking the truth shouting has not worked for me since the dark cloud blinded me for hours. Still I believe that I should not quit trying. After all everything is worth a try. 

          I am sure, that gentleman is someone I know. From my perspective I doubt that it is- he turns. Yes it's him "LIAM ASTER". Why is he walking straight to me? Go away Liam. God, please don't do this to me. Oh my! He is now kneeling beside my coffin. I have never seen his eye this red, yet not a single drop of tear is spotted. Unlike others he's not sad and definitely, not happy. Then what is he going through? Death makes people confusing.

            So far he has not uttered a word. He is just staring at me as if, he has to enjoy the last piece of cake because he will never be able to taste it after this. "Say something Liam, please." This time it was merely a whisper. I am not able to afford a shout. 

          He takes a deep breath and smiles and started. "Do you remember Mia, we used to guess what a coffin would smell like! Actually yours smell like-" "CALVIN KLEIN" Jinx! We said that one together.

           He continued without noticing me smiling "Also, you look so pretty! This poor boy can never stop admiring you, Miss. From the very first day I was and am actively engaged in loving you. Once, you asked me that, if I was able to change one thing in my life what would it be. For that one I would like to answer now. It's this very moment I want to change Mia, it is this terrible moment. I-"

           "Liam it's time" it is my Dad, and I am sure that his it's time means, time for burial. "

           "Please dad, please let him complete it" I wish he was able to hear me. Liam looks at me, grave and at some point angry. His lips moves. No sound escapes his mouth But I know what he said.

"I love you too" I replied.

                                * ---------- *

           Everything's little to fast. My Grave is right next to me, smiling wide at me. From my experience I can tell you that, death is an unexpected friend or foe. Through death you  will be able to feel something you have never felt in your entire life. People are the most unexpected creature even death comes second at this point. Death makes people go wild. Death takes people to confusing state. At last your grave do smile at you. Just kidding! I feel that It's better to be buried faster because I can no longer stand all these sentiments. I am tired. "Can you guys make it a little quick". 

          What! This can't happen. How can he hear that? Liam is staring at me, his eyes wide in horror. I am absolutely sure that he heard what I just screamed. But how? Its crazy. He takes heavy steps slowly reaches a few feet away from me. "Wait, don't do it" He stopped them. "She just screamed, I heard it. She's alive."

           He has done a great mistake. Attention swapped to him. Mom, who was weeping in Dad's arms just stopped and is staring at him. I had strong feeling that her wide hands would soon be on Liam's face. Everyone except Jacob looks petrified.

          Liam carries on with shouting, and saying all sorts of bullshit at anyone who, he finds annoying. He looks just like a mad man unable to find peace. Each time he turns to Mom, he begs her to stop it. But she stares at him, her eyes blank. 

           "Oh Liam! Just stop it, it's getting on my nerves. " Jacob is literally laughing and mocking him. This is going out of hands as, Liam has already set his hands on Jacob's white collar. "You stand out of this, asshole. " "Say that once again, and you will be next to be buried."

          "You are an asshole, Jacob." Liam shouts it on his face. The two are rolling on the ground, hitting each other and fighting like dogs. There goes a punch, right on Jacob's nose. I have always wanted to do that. Thank you Liam, thank you. Sadly, my funeral is turning into a circus. It's me, who can stop this. Lets check if this mechanism really works. "Liam stop it. It's better this way, I am okay. Stop it you stupid. " 

          He turns his head to me and loosens his grip from Jacob's collars. A few minutes of relief passed. Both the boys has bleeding nose and many more injuries. Liam has not spoken a word, in spite of his mother trying so hard to converse with him.

          People are back to the funeral business. Jacob's a long way away from Leah. Things are a lot better now. Liam is only a few feet away from me. I want him to kneel near me, and talk to me for one last time. He looks at my Mom, she nodes with a little smile of satisfaction. He kneels. Now that I can clearly see him, I get that he looks really pathetic. Wounds everywhere, and his eyes, they are flooded with tears. 

          He is weeping. "My mom used to say, a person's coffin would smell like, what he loves the most" His voice, they are still his. His sweet but hoarse voice. It was and is my endorphin. 

He continues "Mia, you are the one true thing that happened to me. If I really do get a chance to stop all these. I would grab you out of this, and plant a kiss everywhere, your eyes, lips, neck, cheeks. From the very first day I knew that, You were special. If after life really exist, will you wait for me there? You wants to know what my coffin would smell like? It would smell like you lady, just like you." With that he stands up and walks out. 

He is really my endorphin. I breathes. The coffin, it smells like 'LIAM'.